Leave the Idiots Here.
by Zube (zube@stat.colostate.edu)
Created:  May 4, 2006
Updated:  Aug 29, 2006
http://www.stat.colostate.edu/~zube/annoying.txt

Dear writers,

I have a secret.  At least I think it is a secret because no one seems to
know it.  Or perhaps you know about it but you don't care.

From the driver who can't decide what lane to be in to the telemarketers 
that fill up my caller ID memory to the customer that absolutely must 
discuss her life story at the check-out counter, I deal with annoying 
people many times a day.  I'm sure others do as well.

Here's the thing.

I know this will come as a great shock to many a writer, but honestly, 
I don't need any more annoying characters in my life.  I have enough.  
Completely full up.  NO VACANCY.  The moron concert is sold out.  
No more callers please.

So stop it.  Stop putting annoying characters in your works.

I recently watched _As Time Goes By_, a terrific British Comedy.  The
acting is good and the writing is *very* good.  Sadly, there is a point
in the middle of the series when a new character is introduced, an
elderly woman who is supposed to be acting as a personal secretary for
one of the main characters.  She prattles on and on about her life
causing the main character to, in one scene, leave the room and hit his
head repeatedly against the wall.  The scene itself is funny, but the 
character is so annoying that it's impossible to watch.  It is easily 
the weakest writing of the series.  If that wasn't enough, it takes several
episodes to get rid of said character, episodes I will certainly skip in 
full should I watch it again.

_Azumanga Daioh_ is an interesting anime featuring the day-to-day lives
of several normal high-school girls.  It contains some of the sweetest,
most uplifting, happiest moments I have ever seen.  It also contains
three characters who are the equivalent being poked incessantly in the
ribs with a sharp stick while being taunted with "Does this hurt?" "How
about this?" "How about here?".  One character is a student who is
loud, obnoxious, hurtful, stupid and possesses not a single redeeming
quality, one is a teacher who is an older, slightly more mellow version
of the student and one is a perverted male teacher.  If the object of
the exercise was to point out how annoying some people are, believe it
or not, I understood that *before* watching the first episode.  I
didn't need to be reminded of it.  I would argue that _Azumanga Daioh_
would be an order of magnitude better without these characters.

[Interestingly, in the manga of _Azumanga Daioh_, the characters do
not seem as annoying.]  

Fictional or real, annoying is annoying, period.   

Please do everyone a favor and leave the idiots in the real world.

Yours faithfully,
Zube