Dragon's Lair 3D
review by Zube (zube@stat.colostate.edu)
Created:  Oct 20, 2003
Updated:  Oct 20, 2003
http://www.stat.colostate.edu/~zube/dl3d.txt

This one will be short.  If you liked or loved Dragon's Lair, Space
Ace and/or Dragon's Lair II and are expecting something like them, go
far away, quickly and don't look back.

This is Zelda in a Dragon's Lair framework.  If you believe that these two 
great tastes taste great together, I'm sure you'll like this.  For $10 from 
Circuit City (for the PC), you could do a lot worse.  It's clear I'm not
the target audience for this, but in all fairness, the game has gotten its
share of good reviews (80%, PC Gamer Feb 2003, p. 72, for example).  If
I'm now the old guy who thinks that days past were better than days
present, so be it.

DL, SA and DLII were arcade games, meaning that the action was fast
and furious.  DL3D is not.  Sure, there are probably some very exciting
moments in the game, but it was quite a letdown to find that the first 
thing I had to do in the game was climb two ledges and learn to run
and jump.  Whoopie.  It's the Super Mario Bros.-ing of Donkey Kong all
over again.  I'm fairly certain that if I had never seen the arcade 
games, DL3D might be interesting.  Knowing what I know, it isn't.
Yep, I'm the old guy.

I'd like to say something nice about the 3 "history" videos that are 
included.  Let's see.  The comments by Bluth are fun to listen to and the 
most interesting bit is that Dan Molina did the voice of Dirk.
Most of the rest of this gush-fest/infomercial, especially when Rick Dyer
Hypocrite (tm) starts talking, isn't worth a shovelful of earth.

Finally, this bit from:

http://www.takeoutmusic.com/games_pr/dragons_lair_3d_music_encore_dragonstone_pr.htm

(all one line) speaks for itself:

"The Dragon's Lair 3D theme song -- "He's My Guy" -- was also written
and composed by Chris. It was recorded professionally using a
combination of live musicians & synthesizers. This theme song plays at
the end of game as a reward for winning. It appears during the credit
roll, and visuals include classic and new footage from the game."

Oh, yes, just so you know: it's a rap song sung by Julie Eisenhower.

Now I know how Snoopy felt when they tore down the Daisy Hill Puppy
Farm and put up a six-story parking garage.  

"You stupid people!!  You're parking on my memories!!!"