Fort Collins, The Mean-Spirited City
by Zube (zube@stat.colostate.edu) 
Created:  Aug 24, 2011
Updated:  Feb  5, 2012
http://www.stat.colostate.edu/~zube/fortcollinsmean.txt

Parking near the university is rough.  It's difficult to find a
free space on any nearby street, but two blocks away there is a
huge parking lot for the City's indoor pool.  Many CSU people and
local business workers avail themselves of the lot.

On most days, the lot never reaches 75% capacity or even 50%
capacity.  If 30% of the spaces are filled, it's noticeable.
Non-pool parking doesn't appear to impact any of the goings-on at the
pool or at the nearby Lincoln Center.  Indeed, there are many spaces
marked "Pool Parking Only" and most are unused day in and day out.

I thought well of the City for allowing an underused resource to
be used in such a kindly fashion.

Of course, this is the City of Fort Collins.  The Doofus Train,
driven by Oaf McDimwit, stops everywhere, including parking lots.
This time the train was carrying a load of "2-hour parking only,
M-F, 8-4" signs.

The message is clear.  So much for kindness.

When I walked through the lot this morning, there were exactly
five cars in it.  When I returned in the evening, there were two.
This is, mind you, a lot with 100+ spaces.

My first-hand experience has taught me that Fort Collins is run by
short-sighted, inept morons but I had no idea that that they were
*this* petty and mean-spirited.  It appears that any truly useful
service provided by the City is merely an oversight which will soon
get sorted out by Oaf.

Fort Collins, old chum, you can get seriously knotted.

Best of luck on your new empty lot.  I wish you many, many empty
lots in the future.

First update:

The Doofus Train also stopped in front of the Main Library, where
parking on the same side of the street facing the library is now
limited to one hour, 10am - 6pm, every day.  Interestingly, the
downtown post office's same-side-of-the-street parking is two hours.
So, two hours to mail a letter but only an hour to look for books.
Very poorly done, lads.

Second update:

My wish came true.  We now have *two* empty lots.

The Suck-On-This Brigade is at it again.  A smaller parking lot by
the Lincoln Center contains 45 spaces (my cursory count: 35 normal,
six handicapped, three "patrons with special needs", one motorcycle).
Its use was unrestricted.  Today, there are signs that read
"Lincoln Center Parking Only, Violators will be towed" complete
with a whopping five spaces in use.

We now have the curious situation where a huge fraction of roughly
150+ parking spaces between the two lots will be left unused 90%
of the time during normal weekday working hours.

This has petty despot wankery written all over it.

Still, along with being appalled, I'm also relieved.  The next time
the City wants anything from me, like a tax increase, I'll simply
give them a sign that reads:

No soliciting allowed
Violators will be told 
To enjoy their empty parking lots

Actions have consequences.  

Enjoy yours, Fort Collins.

Third update:

I'm impressed.  Really impressed.  It takes a lot of hard work and
daily discipline to be this mean or wank this well.

If I were an advanced soul, I might overlook the restrictions
on parking in the Lincoln Center lot and the Mulberry Pool lot.
I might conclude that it's their lot to do with what they want, even
if they have taken any goodwill they once had and lit it on fire.
I'm not an advanced soul, which is why I don't overlook it, but at
least I imagine I could.

Today is the very, very last straw.

It's one thing to claim rights for things under your control.
It's another to then not use them.  But it takes a concentrated
Industrial-Strength Space-Age Wankery to shrink public resources
and then turn around and use the much smaller remaining public
resources for your own benefit.

The Lincoln Center renovation is not complete.  They are still
digging, redigging, tearing up sidewalks, putting up signs.  Since
the new restrictions on the parking lots were enacted, everyone not
affiliated with the Lincoln Center or the Pool has had to park on
the street while the big empty lots remain big and empty.

But here's the thing.  Could the Lincoln Center have spared a single
brain cell to require the contractors to park in the new "For Lincoln
Center Only" parking lot?  Of course not.  So the contractors park
on the street, further limiting the number of places to park for
average shmoes like me.

"Have you no sense of decency, sir?  At long last, have you left no 
sense of decency?"